I saw this article at the Yahoo website this morning, and it made me think of work. It was "Dating Diary: 10 Dating Red Flags." I had a little fun with this by replacing the words for girlfriend with "collaborator", friends with "co-workers," etc. Try this little mind experiment with those new words - or whatever is relevant to your work, and see how it sounds.
"When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating (collaboration) red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you.
1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person's _______ or new _______? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.
2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your _______ consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.
3. They don't make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid -- an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't have invited him. Now that's sacrifice.
4. They can't fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet ______, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are _______with me and my family at a ______ or at a ______. If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.
5. They are too controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where _______ forbid _______ to hang out with certain friends, or _______. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.
6. The "what are we" conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other _______. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.
7. They talk about plans that don't involve you
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into this person.
8. Your friends or ______ don't like them
Remember that your friends and ______ know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your _______, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.
9. They violated your trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't give away easily, and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.
10. You practice "unbalanced ______"
Are you always seeing his _______ or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the _______ and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out."
The original story was found here: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/dating-diaries-ten-dating-red-flags-258416/
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